Winners Quit

Perseverance is important... but so is quitting

Quote I’ve been thinking about this week:

“You’re not afraid of making mistakes, you’re afraid of letting other people see you make mistakes. However, what other people think of you is none of your business.” - Anon

Are you afraid of making a mistake, or of other people seeing you make a mistake? Many times we allow what others might say or think prevent us from doing what we truly want to do! What this boils down to is a matter of priorities or value. What do you value more? The opinion of others? Or achieving your goal?

Something to think about.

Thought of the Week: How to know when to quit

In a culture where success is often equated with hard work and perseverance, and quotes like "quitters never win," are constantly repeated, it’s no wonder that the act of quitting has earned itself a negative reputation.

Quitting vs Giving up

First things first lets get one thing straight. Quitting is not giving up. At least not the way that I will define it, but also actually according to the dictionary.

Quitting  - Is defined as: to leave, to abandon, to stop doing something permanently, to bring (as an action or operation) to an immediate end.

Giving Up - Is defined as: to give control over, to give (something) over to the control or possession of another usually under duress

So to “quit”, is to bring something to an end and to “give up”, is to give control over to someone/something else. Something important to understand is that the person who gives up might be forced to quit after giving up, but the person who quit has chosen to bring things to an end for their own reasons on their own terms. Also, giving up defers decisions to feelings on what to do. While quitting defers decisions to logic/ thinking on what to do.

Quitting Sucks

Second thing we have to get clear is that quitting sucks. No matter what. I’m not going to beat around the bush here. No one who starts something starts with the intention of quitting. Quitting can feel like standing on the edge of a cliff, with no clue about what lies below you or what’s about to happen next. That may sound intense, but that’s the point. When you’ve invested a lot of time, money, and energy into something, or are determined to see something through to it’s conclusion, ending it can be hard. Regardless of whether or not you know it needs to be done, it doesn’t make ending it any easier.

This is especially true in societies and cultures whose social conditioning has led many to believe that those who give up on a dream, a hobby, or a goal are considered unambitious, lazy, “failures”, or that people who persevere are better than those who quit. When you combine that with feelings of guilt, shame, frustration, fear, and personal embarrassment that most people experience when deciding to bring things to an end, you can understand why many would avoid having to quit altogether.

Winners Quit

That being said, here’s another (unpopular) perspective - quitting is GOOD.

As a matter of fact - winners quit.

Winners quit?

Yes, winners quit.

Check out this quote by bestselling author and former poker player Annie Duke from her book “Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away“,

“People stick to things all the time that they don’t succeed at, sometimes based on the belief that if they stick with it long enough, that will lead to success… Success does not lie in sticking to things. It lies in picking the right thing to stick to and quitting the rest.” - Annie Duke

“Success does not lie in sticking to things. It lies in picking the right thing to stick to and quitting the rest.” - See the connection? Success comes from knowing the right things to let go of, or quit. More specifically, success comes from knowing the right things to quit and knowing WHEN to quit. For example, in the Texas Hold’em version of poker, the best players abandon (or fold) their cards around 80% of the time while amateurs stick with their starting cards over 50% of the time. Knowing the right things to quit and when to quit can actually help you achieve your goals just as effectively as persevering would because you abandon old ways to embrace new ways. Or put another way, there is no nobility is persevering towards the wrong thing. Absolutely None.

Practically, if someone wanted to live a healthier lifestyle for example, they might have to quit smoking or quit eating fast food. Again, if someone wanted to change the direction of their life they might have to quit their old actions, habits, or beliefs that placed them on that path. Do you see what I mean?

Winners quit.

How to know if you should quit

Here comes the hard part - How do you know if/ when you should quit? The answer? It’s different for everyone. However, as Annie Duke has helped us to realize there are two things that need to be identified in order to make a good decision: knowing the the right thing to quit and knowing when to quit that thing. So lets explore that a bit more.

• Knowing what to quit

  • Knowledge/ experience - Knowing when to quit is about your current knowledge and experience compared to the knowledge and experience you had when you started. A good question to ask yourself is: Based on what I know now, is or are the goal(s) that I originally set still worth pursuing, or should they be modified, or abandoned?

• Knowing when to quit

  • Indicators/ checkpoints - Ever heard of the expression “quit while you are ahead?”. This involves establishing logical deadlines and checkpoints to help you evaluate if you are on right track so that you can make a rational decision on whether to continue to persevere or not. A good question to ask yourself is: Am I moving closer or further away from my goal, based on what I know now, where I am now, and the amount of time remaining to achieve my goal. Similar to how stock traders set limits on when they will/will not enter or exit or a trade to prevent them from reacting emotionally, the same approach should be implemented when achieving our goals or deciding when to quit. This way we can ride the highs and quit while we are ahead to minimize our downside.

Here’s my framework/ workflow to help you know if you should quit something or not. If you respond “No” to 4 or more of these then you may want to consider quitting and vice versa.

• Is it interesting - Are you genuinely interested in achieving your goal?Does the goal you originally set evoke, awaken, or excite a strong desire within you to know or learn more about how to achieve it?

• Is it rewarding - Does the goal you originally set provide you with a sense or feeling of fulfillment, pleasure, and enjoyment derived from working towards the goal? 

• Is it realistic - Is the goal you originally set practical of what can be achieved or expected from you? Does it demonstrate a course of action chosen with consideration for the knowledge, experience, and principles you have developed within a specific industry, field or period, based on clear, logical, and convincing reasoning? Does it have a sound basis in logic or fact, showing care and thought for the future?

• Is it likely - Are you confident that the goal you originally set is appropriate (for you), and likely to happen, be done, or be true for you, or your situation based on who you are now, where you are now, and the information you know now?

• Is it attainable - Will you be able to successfully bring about, arrive at, or get as far as your desired goal, objective, or result by your current or increased level of skill, effort, knowledge, or courage?

• Is it reasonable - Is the goal you set established on your own opinion (a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge)? Or a specific principle, belief, fact, or suggestion about the best possible course of action to take in order to achieve the goal based on the information gathered, thoroughly thinking things through, and listening to others?

• Is your time well spent? - Based on who you are now, where you are now, the information you know now, and the goal you originally set, do you feel like working towards this goal is a good use of your time?

Again, if you respond “No” to 4 or more of these then you may want to consider quitting and vice versa.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This was by no means meant in anyway to be an exhaustive or extensive look into quitting. Just some thoughts on it from my own experience, perspective, and (little) research. Here are some other things to consider before or when you decide to quit:

• Only you can make sense of your decisions. Don’t let anyone else sway you. It’s you who has to live with the consequences.

• In every decision, there are elements of letting go and of holding on so try not to give yourself an ultimatum.

• The belief that quitting is not an option requires you to make the right decision 100% of the time. This is stressful, unrealistic, and will hinder your ability to make smart decisions. Take the pressure off of yourself.

• Try not to condemn yourself. If you label yourself as a quitter you pass undeserved judgment on yourself which will start to reshape your outlook and identity in a negative light - you don’t want that.

• Never give up your hope, values, or sense of self. If you happen to be facing a life-altering/major decision, take some time to arrive at your decision.

• You may experience conflicting emotions. This is OK. They won’t always be easy to discern or resolve. Take time to listen to what these are trying to tell you.

As always - Just a thought. Hope it helps.